I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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