Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize