There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize