im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
