A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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