We won't sleep together?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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