I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
