I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
