don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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