My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
