3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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