White coat. Heels.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she told me i tasted like america
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize