Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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