remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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