I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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