Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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