I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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