how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He did a backflip because drugs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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