Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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