i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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