8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
