I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
