Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
