whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
