the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
