Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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