shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
