Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you never un-have a 4some
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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