were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
