question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
