butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
FUCK WHALES
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
