just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
