I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
