So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
