we have officially lost it.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize