Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
