it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
