is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
