I have demons in me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
