Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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