I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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