Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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