Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
