i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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