i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize