She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
