Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
