It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
