He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
