i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
