His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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