Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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