just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize