Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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