They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
