so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
