i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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