No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
