I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
