I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize