So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
