i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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